Above You, Below Me
by Beaux Folle
Summary: Hermione reflects on Ron and his role in her life. Takes place during the summer after fourth year. Songfic.


Disclaimer: I don't own any of the writings by JK Rolwing, nor do I own the song "Above You, Below Me," by Badly Drawn Boy.

**Summary: Hermione reflects on Ron, and his role in her life. Takes place during the summer after fourth year.**

****_Don't wanna give,_

_Don't wanna steal,_

_Don't wanna be anything I'm not._

_You take answers, I give questions,_

_Like some rolling monologue. _

You're not handsome. I love everything about you, but even I admit that you aren't exactly gorgeous. You look like you're made up of incompatible parts: your nose is too long, your smile is too wide, and your freckles are spread unevenly across the bridge of your nose. What would you think if I told you that I've always wanted to trace patterns on your cheeks? I see the constellations…

_Wanna be the one to say,_

_That today could be the day._

_A pity to believe in what you know_

_Is what you know. _

You drive me crazy some days. At least once a week I find myself in my dorm, salty tears leaving trails down my face. I don't know why I put up with you: Viktor admitted that he loved me last week. Somebody loves _me_. I could get married right out of school, live in a nice house, get a job, have children… but nevertheless, I waste my time on unrequited love. Obviously you don't share my feelings, or you would have told me a long time ago. One thing Ronald Weasley isn't is shy.

_I will take you as you are, _

_Please accept me as I am._

_Find your own lonely life bizarre, _

_Know it's above you, I know it's below me_

Then you surprise me. You do something so nice that it can't be ignored. If you were always mean to me then I wouldn't be in the situation: I could write you off as some annoying boy, and leave it at that. But no, you have to be charming. Your messy hair flips into your eyes, and you grin at me and say something sweet, and then I'm gone. You probably don't even realize what you're doing to me.

_Don't wanna live life in your shoes,_

_I don't feel I know the way._

_Feeling you, giving me directions I don't need._

_Up and up and round we go,_

_First it's fast and then we're slow._

_Could you connect with my intellect? _

Could you ever love me? To hell with love, do you even _like_ me? Or are you only friends with me because I can help you with your schoolwork? For God's sake, you only _just_ realized that I am, in fact, female! Look at me! I wear skirts, I have long hair. Neville realized that I'm a girl before you did! Was it really that hard to tell…?

_I won't take you as you are,_

_Please don't take me as I am._

_Find your own lonely life, bizarre._

_You'll see this in love,_

_You'll see this in life. _

I remember the Yule Ball: what an evening. The weeks that followed it were very, very hard. You had this façade of cordiality, when I knew that you and I still had unresolved issues. We never really talked about it afterwards. We just pretended nothing had happened. It was almost like a dream… a nightmare. I will never forget the look on your face when I walked into the Great Hall on Viktor's arm. Shock mingled with… jealously? I don't even know. You're like an open book most of the time, but not always.

_Throw an all year round reception,_

_For a love with no connection.___

_Knowing you, knowing my,_

_Ignorance to modern life.___

_Know it's above you, I know it's below me_

I wish I had your free-and-easy air. Life seems like one big joke to you. I know that Fred and George have the reputation of the jokesters in the family, but you have a _presence_ that they could never have. You walk into a room and my eyes are immediately drawn to you. I can feel your energy. When you casually touch me, electricity travels through your fingers and up my spine. I will always, always recognize your touch. If you leave tomorrow, then return in a thousand years, I would still remember your touch.

_I will take you as you are,_

_Please accept me as I am._

_Find your own lonely life design,_

_Know it's above you; know it's below me. _

I still don't understand why I don't love Harry. He's better looking, nicer, and more committed to his schoolwork. During second year, I was _waiting_ to fall for him. But no, after I woke up from being Petrified it was _you_ I discovered new feelings for. It's amazing the despair that comes with truth. You have no idea how many hours I agonized over this situation: the hero gets the heroine, not the sidekick. Feelings and life are very strange indeed… I love you. I bet you would never believe that I could think that! But I do, my God I do. I love you so much it hurts. There is an actual, physical ache when I look at you. I want to kiss you so much… but you would only laugh at me.

_I want to move on. _

**The End**


End file.
